Responsible for myself.....

Well I am going to say something I have probably said before but it's fully in my consciousness right now so I'm going to write about it.  I am responsible for myself.  In every way.  I don't mean that  I am fully or I have been I mean that's what the deal is.  I am the one who is supposed to look out after me.  This is alanon stuff I guess.  I am not even sure why I am writing about this but I just can't stop thinking about it today.  I get so offended when someone asks me to do something I don't want to do and I get so upset when someone can't figure out what I want WITHOUT ME TELLING THEM WHAT IT IS.  So okay so what?  I'm not going to beat myself up about it.  I have had a shitload of issues and I come from a family very effected by alcoholism.  So cool now I can fully realize and hopefully remember that I am the one who is responsible for me - so I can step up to the plate and take charge of that.  People aren't going to stop asking me for things.  I ask people for things all the time!  But there's power in this!  Great power!  Personal power!  Holy shit I am so tired.  This is one week since finishing radiation and she said the effects of it would build up for 2 weeks afterwards and then I would start to feel better.  It's a beautiful day here.  I went for a walk and had healthy food today.  I'm on Day 5 of the Whole 30 again.  It's much easier this time.  I'm going to sit down now (in a different place ha) and write in my journal.  This brings me great comfort.  Love you Bluebie bye.