Saturday, Day 2446

Wow!  Wooooow.  Two thousand four hundred and forty six days sober.  Hmmm.  Crazy and wonderful.  I'm at home - the guy went back to Home Depot to return the groovy glass bowl we bought to put some plants in.  It doesn't have a drain hole so it won't work.  Why was it in the plant pot section?  I don't know.  Bye bye groovy glass bowl.  So I'm home today, spending time with the guy and doing some home stuff.  I spoke at a women's meeting this morning and I'm starting to love this little town.  And it is so little!  The population is like 25 people.  Okay like 5000 but still.  Tiny.  Anyway so I'm here and it's good and when he gets back we are going to have a big talk.  I'm not sure about what but I hope we will be okay through it.  What else?  I did decide I want to get a new sponsor - that's weird but I feel okay about it.  I feel nervous because I'm worried she will be mad but that's not what I should be focusing on - plus I don't think she will care really.  So what else?  I'm okay - my class is going really well - things changed which is great because things were not good there for a little while.  I'm almost feeling like I could stop for a bit and just try to work - but maybe that's crazy - maybe not.  I am - what - what else?  Um - I can't remember - oh yes - my comedy has seemed to dry up!  I'm not getting any shows and this week I didn't even call in my avails.  BUT - I suddenly feel like it's okay.  I mean - I just don't know how I can at this point - do it in a healthy way and work this job, take this class, have a relationship and stay sober.  So I guess for now I will be doing it about once a week.  Um - well - okay.  That seems so crazy to me but - also - what do I know?  I need sleep - that's what I know and I need to take care of my life and my relationship.  Maybe I moved here too soon and I should have waited until July but I didn't so well anyway - who knows - maybe I was never meant to do comedy like that - I don't know!  I can be a funny actress - I love that so much too and I feel like - well I feel like I am helpful in that way anyway.  Um - what?  WHAT AM I TALKING ABOUT?  You know.  I know.  I'm talking about life.  My teeny tiny sober life.  All the trees and flowers have bloomed here and there is fresh air and so much sunshine.  There are cute little birds shitting everywhere and I love listening to them.  The other morning I came out and there was a fat little bunny in the front garden!  I mean calling it a garden is -  extreme - but there are two little gardens in the front of the house and there was a bunny in it!  He hopped right out when he saw me.  So fucking cute.  Fat little brown bunny.  Okay I gotta go - love you Bluebie bye.