BloatED.

Like a boat.  I look like a bloated boat.  Or like a woman who is 4-6 months pregnant.  I feel so gross.  I got my period yesterday and I could barely move.  I went on the interview today and it was okay but he told me to come back and explore the store and really see if I want to work there.  Then I went to work and it was SO SLOW and boring I almost lost my mind.  I mean I really felt fucking INSANE by the time I left.  I feel so fearful.  I need another job and for the life of me - how can I be so bored and when I think of waitressing I can't even move?   I feel so - STUCK.  NO - slow.  I just feel slow.  Oh WOW - the money was so confusing for the job.  Okay - look - my anniversary is next week and then hopefully I will feel better.  It's so crazy - I love him so much - I'm so in love with him and now I hate him because he took me on vacation and I have no money.  WHAT?  He paid for SO MUCH of it and would have paid for everything if I let him.  Okay - I feel like a spoiled brat.  I'm so lucky that I have sobriety.  I'm so lucky that I have a job where I get to be bored.  I'm so lucky to be FAT.  What?  Well I am.  Love you Bluebie bye.  ps I feel fucking CRAZY.