So let's see......

Life is changing and getting cleaner. Not so quickly I might add but that has to be for the best. I have work tonight and I also have to train at the boutique in the morning and work tomorrow night. I have to find a meeting I can get to in between both of those jobs. I also have to bring clothes for the other job - how am I going to do this? I also am not sure how I am going to get to this job at 10 in the morning after being at the comedy club till midnight. I think that might be ridiculous.....that's plenty of time. Oye - stress. I will have to change my schedule eventually. Anyway I am so glad that this is what I'm doing with my time instead of figuring out how to buy pot. I already am forgetting that that was my life once upon a time. When I walked from the train last night I walked all along Adam Clayton Powell from 125th street and I walked by this grocery store that I walked to in the middle of a snow storm 3 years ago to buy a six pack of beer with my debit card. There was only like 10 dollars in my account and none of the bodegas around here would take my debit card so I walked to that grocery store because it was the only place I knew of around here. Holy shit that was 4 years ago. Holy fucking shit. Thank GOD I was walking home from training at a new job last night. I didn't drink when I got home,I took good care of myself,went to bed early and got a good nights sleep. I thought while I was walking that I don't want to remember anymore being a drunk and a drug addict but I never want to forget either. I still feel so close to it all and I still feel tired and toxic - not quite healed from all the marijuana. I need to meditate - I need a long one right now. That sounds weird. I have some projects to work on - some writing things also....so let's see how this all starts to unfold. Stay with me Blueb - I love you!!!