Okay

I decided staying here was for the best - I slept 12 hours last night so I obviously am still not feeling well. It's an open mike so there is no pressure and well - this is the decision I made so okay. Plus I have to greet today at the meeting so I'm glad to be of service. Is my energy ever going to come back? I got paid for Jury Duty - awesome. I also went to the store and bought coffee to make at home instead of going to the bodega and drinking their nasty coffee. Please I would have drank it but there were about 20 12 year old kids trying to get food so I left. I am definitely drinking less coffee. Fuck I'm scared - what if I never find my flow again? Seriously?? All I seem to want to do is watch movies and TV shows and - go to meetings and work once in awhile. Okay - I need to calm down. Calm down. But if I'm really going to pursue this I need to do it everyday. Okay - so go to a meeting everyday, write everyday (oh I also have been writing) and then perform everyday? Night? How am I going to watch 4 to 7 hours of television/movies/hulu? Jesus. I need to take my vitamins. This coffee tastes good. Oh dear - oh boy - I just have to break out of this cycle of being retired. I always said when I was little that I wanted to grow up to be retired. Who says that? "When I grow up I want to be retired." Well I changed my mind thank you very much. Yeesh. Bye Blue - I will talk to you later.